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Life Update

Oh look somebody is back!

I have been busy a lot these days with exams, preparing for them and a lot of emotional drama.

Update #1 Remember I applied for re-verification? Yeah. My English marks increased by 5 freaking marks. I have gone through my paper and apparently the person who corrected doesn’t know idioms.

Update #2 I have written 3 entrance exams, they didn’t go well and I absolutely don’t give a damn because I know what I have been preparing for the past year.

Update #3 I DID IT! I got acceptance from one of  the foreign universities that I applied to. I started sobbing so badly. I felt so proud of myself. Everything, absolutely everything I did on my own. Well of course the money came from my parents but I went around sending documents, finding out everything about the universities.

Update #4 I won’t be going to that University. I hate my life it is filled with countless tragedies. My parents are fucking poor to afford the fee. It was money. At the end it was money that ended my dreams. How I wish money never existed.

Update #5 My parents don’t understand. They want me to study bachelors here and go abroad for masters. They don’t understand that it not as easy as a pie to become an astronomer. The past century the field has grown so much, with high competition. I don’t think the research opportunities here in my country are that good,especially for astronomy. I have studied here for 14 years and I am really not very happy with the kind of education system here.

Update #6 My parents have decided that they will get me a paid seat. I will die but I will not accept that paid seat. What is the use of having something you haven’t worked hard for? You will never ever value it. I will take a gap year and prepare for these entrance exams again.

It’s all my fault. To dream of becoming something that was never affordable for me in the first place.

-Rav

PS: I know I was being a brat complaining about my parents. It’s not their fault. I am thankful that they at least gave me the opportunity to explore.

Results

So my results were announced recently and they were okay. I expected that I would get 90% for sure but just like every other time that was not the case, I ended up getting 88%. I know not much difference; my scores are already in the competitive range in the universities I applied. But with 90% my chances of getting admitted into the universities would increase, you know the competition these days.

The one thing that I am unable to digest are my fucking english marks. How the hell did I end up getting 81 marks when I was damn sure that I would get nothing less than 94? My guess is that they have entered marks of the person before me because even they got 81 and since the marks are released online there is a high possibility of an error occurring. Whatever the case I have applied for reverification for both math and english. From what I heard, very rarely your marks are increased during reverification and if you are lucky enough then your marks are increased by 3-4. How unfair is that? They won’t do the correction properly, and then you have to pay fee so that those lousy people will check your paper again.

Well chill Rav. It’s okay you know how well you did. That is more than enough.

I am sorry, but no, the harsh reality is that the universities have no freaking idea as to how well I did. They are going judge me based on my stupid marks.

-RAV

THE POWER OF ACTION

One night I was wondering how my life has changed this past year. Suicidal thoughts, depression, panic attacks.  It was I who dragged me in this dark bottomless pit of gloom.  But am I capable of so much power? Yes I am. Then it dawned upon me that if I have the potential of dragging myself down then I also have the potential of lifting myself to the heights I never imagined I could reach. And after that beautiful thought my life completely transformed. It was all sunshine and rainbows or this is what I thought it would be but something was missing.

Here’s the thing, after thought comes Action. BAM!! It is all starting to make sense now. ACTION, that is what is missing in my life. I have gigantic aspirations. I think of becoming an Astronomer. I think of changing this world. I think of doing something. I think of changing myself. I think I think and think. The flaw here is I am stuck in the first step of success. I am unable to take action and make my dreams come true.

I am trying to remember all the times I stood victorious in the face of difficulty. I gave it my best then, no matter what. There was an action after a thought. Now I am trying to remember all the times I failed (Well, this is easy. I need not try to remember). I haven’t given my 100% and so the result – I was unsuccessful.

Why was I unable to give my best?

  1. I had this misconception that, that particular thing was very easy to achieve when it was not.
  2. I thought I had forever.
  3. I thought I would be given another opportunity.
  4. I thought I had extraordinary luck when I knew it sucks.

All these thoughts and misconceptions caused the inability to act effectively.

For some reason I think it is plain sailing to navigate through the labyrinth called Life. I think that life is predictable. I think it is forever. This is my mistake. In reality, life is unpredictable and it is definitely not easy, with each passing second I am losing the opportunity I have in my hand, with each passing second I am coming closer to my death. I must take action before it is too late. Compared to the Universe I am just an instant in the flow of time but I want to make this instant meaningful, purposeful and worth remembering by taking ACTION.

This blog post is the action that succeeded the thought I had that night. I have addressed my flaw- my inability to act- and now I am going to eradicate this flaw of mine once and for all. Is this easy? No, but I will stand my ground because no matter what the odds I am going to make my dreams a reality.

action again

-RAV


Featured Image Credit: Pascal Campion 

The Blue Sky Tag

I was tagged by the very wonderful Moon. And do make sure that you go and check out her blog because her deep posts are worth reading. So here we go.


RULES

  1. Thank the person (people) who nominated you.
  2. Answer their 11 questions.
  3. Tag 11 people.
  4. Give them 11 questions to answer.

A HUGE HUGE THANKS TO NEWMOONPLAN FOR TAGGING ME.


Moon: How many keys are on your key ring?

Rav: 0 – I don’t have keys.

Do you wake up early and go to bed early, go to bed late and wake up late, go to bed late and wake up early or go to bed early and wake up late? :’D

Go to bed early and wake up early – when I have important/urgent tasks.

Go to bed early and wake up late – when I am being a sloth and have got nothing to do because the deadline is not near yet.

Have you ever won a trophy?

Yes! I did but wish I won more.

What’s your favorite name and its meaning?

Raven – it is a bird but don’t know what the name means. I first heard the name in Teen Titans and ever since then I love that name.

Are you still in contact with your first best friend?

Yes! We are still in touch! Are we still best friends? Nope.

Tell me your favorite color aside from blue! 😀

PURPLE all the way!

Do whales sneeze?

Sneeze: make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils.

Whales can control their breathing unlike Homo sapiens. If they want to remove the debris from their lungs they breathe air out of their blow hole. The spray or mists that shows up is called spout. Since sneeze means a sudden involuntary action, the key word here being involuntary whales don’t sneeze because they voluntarily exhale out of their blow hole.

(I actually did some research on this XD)

Grab a book, open it at page 23 and write down whatever you see on line 23. If there’s a picture or something else instead of a text go to the next page and copy the text from line 24.

‘It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.’

What color are the walls of the room your are in?

Cream

What’s under your bed?

Wait let me see. Nothing, darn it! I was expecting somebody would be there staring back at me with a creepy smile.

Do you have a tattoo? If yes, describe it. If no – well, would you want a tattoo?

No I don’t have a tattoo. But hell yeah I do want one.


I Tag: 

Pradita Kapahi thedifferentiatedeccentric Misstery blog Evie multitudeofmythoughts eelblogs TeacherofYA ThatGirlCalledAlice smilingdreamer Jirah Merizz Thoughts in Life


Here Are My Questions:

1) What are you obsessed with right now?

2) What do you think is inside a black hole?

3) Which mythological creature would you bring to life, if given a chance?

4) Do you believe that aliens have come to earth in the past?

5) Which anime would you recommend and why? (ie if you watch)

6) A book/book series you feel that you should have written instead of that particular author?

7) What does your blog mean to you ?

8) How long have you been blogging? And what is your advice to rookie bloggers?

9) Can you play any instrument(s)? If yes, what is it? If no, which instrument(s) would you like to learn?

10) One unique thing about you.

11) Do like to dance or sing or both or neither of those?

-RAV

The Handwriting Tag

My first tag! Thank you ASH for tagging me. You should totally check out her blog, I think she writes amazingly.

So let’s get started with the Tag

Here are the rules

  1. Write your name

  2. Write your blog’s name

  3. Write your favorite word and its definition

  4. Write something nice

  5. Write the name of your favorite song right now

  6. What are you writing with?

  7. Write a fun fact about yourself

  8. Write/draw your favorite emoticon

  9. Write a silly message

  10. Write who you’re tagging

the handwriting tag

1)Rav

2)Inside A Black Hole

3)COSMOS = the universe seen as a well-ordered whole.

  • 4)-Life is precious because it ends.
  •   -If you don’t like your destiny then don’t accept it. Instead have the courage to change it the way you want it to be.

5)DOWN by Marian Hill

6)A purple Gel Pen

7)My eyes tear up whenever I look up at the night sky.

8)😈 The smiling purple devil

9)Cliffhangers are so

10) newmoonplan

thedifferenciatedeccentric

thoughts in life

lifeaccordingtoawallflower

Emily

If the people I tagged have already done the tag then it’s okay you need not do it again. For some reason if you don’t want to do the tag it is also okay, I can understand (or not, I dunno)

-RAV

Is My Blog Dying?

Recently I have started noticing how the views of my blog have been dropping drastically. Let me share the stats with you:

  • Number of views in January -366
  • Number of views in February-204
  • Number of views in March-62
  • Average views per day in January-12
  • Average views per day in February-7
  • Average views per day in March-2

What could be the reason for the fall in my views?

A big blunder that I did with my blog was that I made it private for more than a week (Thank gods, I was actually going to delete it but I didn’t.) because I was bored with it and wanted to make a new blog. This is the first reason.

The second reason being my long absence from blogging for a month since I had exams going on.

The third reason I guess is that I have been very active in the month of January. No, not by posting but by following blogs and liking posts. Now I am very inactive. Basically this makes other bloggers unaware of my presence and this ultimately resulting in them being oblivious of my blog.

The fourth reason is again a guess. I suppose that you readers find my content not very interesting. But then again, in January I don’t think that what I posted had great content so the fourth reason being true is tenuous.

I have noticed the drop in the views before but today I felt bad. I thought my blog was dying. Then I questioned myself ‘can my blog really die just because it is getting less views?’ No definitely not. I pointed out to myself that I started this blog for myself, not for the views.

And also, readers surely are an integral part of blogging because there are the ones who give you the much needed strength to continue blogging. But a blogger alone has that unrivalled power to kill their blog. No matter what the views, at the end of the day, it’s all in the hands of the blogger whether to continue blogging or not.

So is my blog dying?

No, absolutely not. I don’t plan on killing my blog anytime soon.

-RAV

Death Note

I have heard how great the anime is and after it being on my anime-to-watch list for few months I managed to find some free time to watch it.

I completed watching 15 episodes already because it is riveting.

DEATH NOTE

What happens when Light Yagami, a 17 year old high school student, stumbles upon a notebook called Death Note? In the instructions of Death Note it is stated that the person whose name is written in the book shall die. When Light finds out about the book’s devastating powers he decides to bring justice to the world. But his idea of justice contradicts that of L, the best detective in the world. Now it is a battle of wits to stop each other. And the question that remains is ‘will justice prevail in the end?’

LIGHT YAGAMI

light r

Light Yagami is that typical anime character who is intelligent, good looking, talented,considers himself superior and most girls in the show worship him but he doesn’t seem to care about it. This is the type of character that annoys me. I can’t stand them at all. At first I thought Light was bearable and then his over confidence and superiority come into play making him, for me, unbearable. But he is intelligent, I will surely give that to him; at some points in the show I was like ‘Dang It! That was very clever for a 17 year old.’

L

l l

L is brainy. VERY VERY BRAINY. He is weird, cool, shabby looking, has insomnia,always sits in a weird way and only eats sweet food. His quirky attitude makes me like him more and makes him stand out. When he first challenged Light by pulling that television stunt I was beyond impressed with his intelligence. From that point on I have huge admiration for L.

MISA AMANE

misa

Misa Amane devotee of Light Yagami. Again a stereotypical character. Her world revolves around Light. I think she was in only 3 episodes in those 15 episodes I watched but I despise her. I find her absolutely stupid.

Major Flaws In Death Note

This is the one major problem that I have with most anime. No proper representation of women. They don’t have a strong character.

But I am yet to watch 22 episodes more so I hope that the magnitude of the flaw is somehow lessened.

It is truly a great anime. If you haven’t watched it yet you should definitely watch it. It is only a 37 episodes long anime.

I have so much to share but the length of this post will increase (a lot).

-RAV