I am feeling too overwhelmed. I have many aspirations that I want to fulfill but I have a fear of not living up to my expectations. What if I fail? What if I lose? The reason for this fear is I have faced many failures and now I have come to a point where I have almost given up all my hopes and somewhere deep within I gave up.
It is just so confusing. I am in a fight with myself, torn apart between two choices. I don’t want to cave in but a very obnoxious voice inside my head says “just give up already”. I want to fight but then I don’t want to fight. It is like facing Janus.
The very optimistic side of me urges me to think positively but these days it’s mostly overshadowed by my pessimistic side. In this eclipsed phase of my life I often doubt myself, question whether I’ll be able to fulfill my dreams or not.
To put in a simple way- I am lost.